


Giving In

by SongbirdAli



Series: Giving In [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst, Bi-Curiosity, Bisexual Misha Collins, Cockles, Fantasizing, Fluff, Hotel Sex, Internalized Homophobia, M/M, Masturbation, Oral Sex, Sexual Tension, Supernatural Convention, Tumblr, boxer shorts incident, lots of real life cockles mentions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-29
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-17 23:30:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15472515
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SongbirdAli/pseuds/SongbirdAli
Summary: Jensen finally allows himself to see what's really going on on Tumblr and is faced with just how much of what's really going on in his head is visible to the fans.Maybe it's time he owned up to his feelings.





	1. The Realization

**Author's Note:**

> FYIs  
> The wives are in the know and approve  
> While I know Cockles is a hot topic, I'm in no way implying that any of these things actually happened. This is a fantasy. Please treat it as such.

Jensen paged through Tumblr on his phone. For years he'd listened to Misha tease the fans about the content on this damn site during his panels and every once in a while the fans would bring Destiel up in questions during his own panels but he'd actively avoided looking into it for exactly this reason. It had taken him a while to find anything other than fans posting pictures of he, Jared, and Misha. He chuckled at some of their comments and wondered if Jared had posted some of these himself just to rile people up. The shock had come when he'd searched "Destiel". Misha was right, these fans were all about it. Some of the fan fiction was so good that it could have been written by the writers themselves. Finally, he worked up the nerve to search "Cockles". Eyes widening, he stared at the pictures that came up on the screen.

"Shit. I didn't think it was this obvious."

The turning in his stomach worsened as he continued to scroll. There were countless pictures of his muscled arms draped around Misha in various positions. Around his neck, his waist, heads together, gazing into each others eyes....you name it, it was there.  Obviously he'd seen some of these before, but never presented in quite this way.  His heart thudded in his chest as the wheels started turning in his head.

"Pffft....this is no big deal. The fans always want us hanging all over each other. It comes with the territory." His voice sounded just slightly off as it echoed off the walls of his empty hotel room. He wasn't sure who he was trying to convince but he need to get his shit together before the Con started tomorrow evening.  

The picture of his drunken form showing Misha his boxers made him cringe. He knew exactly how he felt that day in Rome and what had been going through his head. How much he enjoyed making Mish squirm and then how good it felt to lean against him, To feel the warmth of his body and breathe in his scent. 

What he hadn't seen coming was how shitty he felt when his friend took off back to his hotel room that night obviously unhappy with his antics. Jared had joked with the two of them about their "panel o' lust" during dinner and Misha's face had darkened. He almost looked pained. Drunk or not, Jensen had pushed it way too far and for some reason Misha had been really upset. He thought he knew why. Sure, Misha and Jared played grab ass all the time, humping each other's legs and making moon eyes during takes. It was different though between he and Mish. The feelings, at least on his side, were more...real.

The writers had picked up on the lingering looks between Dean and Cas and loved it. "Eye-fuck" showed up in almost every script that involved Dean and Castiel and every time they shot those scenes Jensen swore it felt like they weren't even having to try. That the feelings he was having were reciprocated. He thought for sure that his tender hearted cast mate felt the same ache for him and he didn't know what to do about it.

Months had passed and he had been trying to figure out how to begin to cross that bridge or if he even wanted to. Last week, Jared had decided to screw with both of them at the CW Upfronts. They'd planned this for months, all three of them were going to wear variations of the same blue suit. It started out as a joke but the more they talked about it, the more they loved the idea. Admittedly it was a reach from Jared's usual style, but they didn't have a clue that he was planning to show up in something else. He and Mish had looked like a married couple and the fanbase had eaten it up. At first it was pretty uncomfortable but after a while, they'd kind of enjoyed it. It was fun to play at being a couple, at least for Jensen. More than once he'd leaned into Misha and whispered about bringing him back to his room. He'd been pushed away with a laugh both times. If only he'd really been joking.

A groan tumbled from his chest as he tossed his phone onto the bed. His fingers worked through his hair in frustration. Filming for season 13 had wrapped about a month ago and they hadn't spoken much since and Jensen had missed his "angel". A couple days ago he'd finally sent Misha a text. They were going to have dinner tonight, just the two of them. This was probably not the day to have stoked this fire but it was too late now. Feelings that had lain buried were unearthed and he needed to get rid of this tension before his "date" showed up.

Jensen stared at his discarded phone and chewed his lip while a hand slid over the waning bulge in his pants. Screwing his eyes shut, he squeezed his cock through the denim and let his mind wander to the stubble on Misha's cheek in the picture of him pinning up his underwear on a clothes line. Lips curling into a smile, he popped the button on his jeans and made short work of the zipper. Before he could think about it he'd kicked his pants across the room and pulled off the soft t-shirt that was ironically soon to belong to the one man he wanted to be with right now.

His bare feet padded over to the couch where his fingers pushed against the final barrier between his fingers and relief. Boxers dropped to the floor, he lay down the length of the couch, one foot on the floor the opposite leg draped over the back. The thickness of his throbbing cock lay against his abdomen as he traced a finger down it's underside thinking about Misha's tongue and, fuck, those lips.

He stroked over his warm sack and underneath to the sensitive skin behind it. Would Mish touch him there? Stroke him there like he is now? Tongue over it while dipping down to tease his depths? Precum leaked onto his tensing muscles as he teased himself, imagining all the things he wanted his imaginary lover to do to him. It wasn't long before he was watching his cock disappear into his clenched fist, thinking about the long fingers he'd seen wrapped around a microphone over and over again. Hips bucked unbidden as he was carried away into his fantasies. His mind went everywhere, all the times he'd wanted to climb all over him in the green room waiting for a panel to start, the tension in the trailer as they'd talked and allowed long looks to pass when they should have just tumbled into the bed.

His own moans pulled him from his thoughts. "Mish...fuck..don't stop..." A familiar heat was creeping into his core, he was so close and almost didn't want to be. A flash of a shirtless Misha in his trailer, hips bones exposed over the top of his orange briefs as a hand reaches down to stroke himself through the fabric pushes Jensen over the edge. With a final strangled groan, his body finds it's release.

A few final stuttered thrusts and a hot blush steals across his freckled cheeks as he realizes he'd just gotten himself off thinking of one of his closest friends. One of his closest male friends. He still wasn't completely comfortable with that but he had to acknowledge that he couldn't ignore it any longer.

With a sigh, he climbed off the couch and headed for the bathroom. It was time to shower, and get ready to face Misha.


	2. The Admission

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misha struggles to get ready for his dinner with Jensen but once they make it to the restaurant, Jensen comes clean at last about his own struggle.

"Misha, you're being ridiculous. I know it's odd for Jensen to want to have dinner with just you but go with it. Things haven't been right between you for a while, maybe he just wants to fix things. Give him a chance." Vicki was right. She always knew just what to say to bring him back into focus and he always seemed to need it.

"You're right, as usual. I love you Vick. I'll call you tomorrow." She answered in kind and ended the call.  He tossed his phone on the bed then stared at it laying on the duvet wondering when he'd started doing that.  He'd always given Jensen grief about being so careless when he did it all the time in his trailer. 

He scratched at his scruff and headed for the bathroom. There was only an hour before he needed to walk down to meet a certain smirking Texan for dinner.

The soft cotton robe he'd been wearing puddled onto the floor but his mind was too busy to even think about picking it up. Turning the knob in the shower he waited for the hot water to pour through from the ceiling. The water pressure was too light, he wanted to be able to feel the water pounding into his skin. These rainfall shower heads were nice but ineffective when you needed a beating. He needed to relax or he was going to ruin this dinner.

Stepping into the shower, the hot water coursed over his taut back muscles allowing them to relax. Maybe some meditation would help him focus his energy. Trying to quiet his mind, he soaped up a loofah sponge and watched the water rush over it as it softened. Using a deliberately repetitive circular motion he scrubbed over his skin and attempted to focus on the feeling, the scent, the heat, anything other than the bright green eyes that were landlocked in his mind.

Finding no relief, he turned the water off with a groan and stepped out onto the fluffy bathmat. The cold air assaulted his senses and made him wonder how long he'd been lost in his own head. He scrubbed over himself with a towel and moved to look in the mirror. Rubbing at his face, he decided not to shave. The fans seemed to love the scruff and Jensen did too.

"Dammit! Come on Dimitri, get it together!" Punctuating his words with a rough toweling of his hair, he turned out of the bathroom and into the bedroom to get dressed. The light blinking on his phone caught his attention as he passed the bed. Grabbing a pair of his lucky briefs, he stepped awkwardly into them as he moved to see who'd called.

His brow creased with confusion.  Why was Daneel calling him? Maybe Jens wanted to cancel. He hit play on the voicemail as he brought the phone to his ear.

"Hey Mish, it's Dee. Listen, I just checked in on Jensen and he seems really nervous about dinner tonight. He'd kill me if he knew I was telling you this but I wanted you to know before you got there and thought he was just being an asshole. You know how he is. He's been really anxious about this but he's not talking so push him if you need to. I miss the way we all used to hang out so I'm hoping he'll talk to you about it. Ok, I'm gonna go. Miss you!"

He sat down on the bed and stared at the black screen on his phone. Maybe he should just cancel. He wasn't sure at what point he'd fallen for Jensen's brooding Machismo but it was becoming a major issue.

Avoiding panels with just the two of them had gotten a little easier though the fans blamed Jensen for that. Jared pretty much ran interference when the three of them were together so it wasn't so obvious that there was an issue but even he had picked up on the tension, especially after their last trip to Berlin.

Darius had been filming the whole time so Misha busied himself playing DJ with Adam and drinking WAY too much. That whole episode with the foosball table and Jensen refusing to switch sides with Jared was comical and Jared had gotten loads of mileage out of joking with Jensen about it but to Misha it was just another example of something being between them that Jensen refused to acknowledge.

His phone buzzed in his hand and Jensen's smug face stared up at him. Nearly dropping the phone, he managed to answer.

"Hey Jens, what's up? You cancelling on me?" He didn't know where he found the energy to joke but the laugh on the other end of the line drew a smile on his own face.

"Nah, come on Mish. You know I wouldn't cancel on you. I'm just running a bit early so I'm going down to the bar to grab a drink and pregame a bit. Text me when you're ready and I'll meet you behind the hotel. The driver's already here since we can't drive our own selves anywhere." Misha smirked to himself. He knew how much Jens hated being driven anywhere. He had this need to be in control that just didn't appreciate it.

"Yeah, ok. I'm pretty much ready so I'll meet you out back in like...ten? Is that long enough?" Biting into his lip, he was suddenly really anxious. Why did this feel like a date? They were just two friends, grabbing food, he was making too much of this. The girls were making too much of this.

"Sure, yeah, see you there. Later, Angel." The phone line went dead and the pet name lingered. It had started years ago as "All Holy Angelic One" during filming when he and Jared were fucking with him but over time it had gotten shorter and shorter until it was just "Angel". Misha used to curl inside when he heard it but lately it's been a painful reminder of what they don't have and he wasn't sure he wanted to hear it anymore.

Grabbing a black Pink Floyd t-shirt out of his suit case, and a pair of dark jeans, he quickly got dressed and headed back to the bathroom for a final look. He didn't want to look like he was trying too hard so he mussed his hair one last time,  took a deep breath and grabbed his wallet and sunglasses. It was now or never.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
Jensen downed a shot of whiskey and then followed it with a second. He needed to relax. The sound of Misha's voice had caused a white hot heat to settle in his gut. He knew his friend was anxious. A decade together had taught him his cues. Lots of questions, that slight squeak at the end of a sentence, the pauses because he's unsure of himself...he knew something was up and it only made Jensen feel more uneasy. Daneel's texts weren't helping either, he thought as his phone vibrated yet again in his pocket.

He pulled it out to see what words of wisdom she had for him this time but was met with Vicki's text instead.

"Be kind to him."

She must think he's a complete asshole. Surely Misha had been talking to her about how he's been acting the last few months and he didn't blame her for being protective. When the fans got a little rowdy and hated on Mish, he had to hold himself back from wanting to throttle people and now here he was causing all kinds of havoc on his own.  He withheld a response.  Who knew how this dinner would go.  He had high hopes but what if he caved?  What if an apology wasn't going to fix this?

"Jackass." he mumbled to himself as he collected his credit card and headed toward the back of the hotel. Miraculously no one had stopped him in the bar but he'd had to take a couple pictures in the lobby with fans so it was more like 20 minutes later when he got out to the dock. Misha was standing with his back to the door as Jensen came out, chatting with the driver. His head was thrown back in laughter as he talked animatedly about something the kids had done. He turned, still chuckling, and smiled at Jensen.

"Hey man, how many got you this time? 10? 20? You didn't even try to curb the sex appeal!" his grin belied his faked frustration.  Jensen looked damn good, as usual.

"It's hard being me." The large man shrugged his shoulders and strode over to the fantasy he'd been thinking of all day. He pulled him into a warm hug and let himself hold him for just a second too long.

"You girls ready to go? I think we're gonna be found out if we don't get a move on." the driver thought he was being funny but Jensen wasn't amused.

"Yeah, yeah. Let's go." The two of them climbed into the back seat as he barked directions in annoyance. The privacy window rolled up as soon as he was done.

"You were a little tough on John, don't you think?" Misha's blue eyes grabbed at his green ones, he couldn't seem to look away.

"Uh...yeah, probably. You know I hate having someone drive us around everywhere so his attitude just rubbed me the wrong way. I'll apologize when we get to the restaurant. Hope I didn't make you uncomfortable." Eyes widening, Misha couldn't help but rib him a little.

"Since when do you care if you make me uncomfortable?!" Jensen smirked at the obvious jab about he and Jared's incessant pranking.

"Since always. I mean, sure, we fuck with you all the time but I never want you to be uncomfortable to be with me, Mish. I would hope you know that." He studied the buttons of his shirt. He just couldn't bring himself to meet the ocean in the other's eyes.

"I know Jens. I just meant... hell, I don't know what I meant. Are you hungry? Because I'm STARVING." The change of topic made them both chuckle and Jensen explained his connection to the restaurant.

"So, when I was working on Smallville, the guy who was taking care of the catering, Jesse, and I would talk about how he wanted to open his own restaurant. I thought his ideas sounded awesome and he definitely had some talent so Daneel and I invested in his place a bit but this is the first time we've been back here in Denver with time to check it out so I thought you and I could pay him a visit.  He's got a private room in the back that he uses for those of us that tend to draw attention so we should be able to have a quiet dinner, unless you want the minions coming after us. It'll be all over Tumblr in less than an hour." Jenson grinned at him knowingly, and Misha jumped at his mention of the site.

"TUMBLR? Surely you didn't..." Jensen chuckled at his friend's shock.

"I mean, I was bored and I figured it was worth a look." Jensen slipped his shades back on and looked out the window with a soft smile. He knew he was going to be pressed for details but he couldn't help but tease a bit.

"And..."

"And there is some interesting stuff out there. I feel like Jared is probably responsible for most of it." They both laughed and realized all too quickly they'd arrived at the restaurant. Misha climbed out while and listened as an apology was delivered to John along with a hefty tip for his trouble.  His long strides carried him around the back of the car quickly.  Jensen held the backdoor open for Misha where they were greeted by a grey haired man who announced himself as the manager. He'd been waiting for them to arrive so they were quickly ushered down a small hallway into a private room where everything was ready and waiting. The lights were low, and the table was covered with linens and china. Misha's eyes widened as he nodded his approval while Jensen rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt and thanked the older gentleman for his help. When the door closed, Misha turned to him, eyes soft with slight emotion, "Jens, this is really nice. We could have grabbed takeout and eaten in a hotel room, I can't believe you went to this kind of trouble."

"Hey, I haven't seen you in forever and....I don't know...I feel like things are off between us. I'd like to fix that if I can. If you'll let me." The slight grit in his voice caused a quake in Misha's chest. If he didn't know better, he'd think his uber macho friend was making an attempt at being romantic.

Jensen sat down and waved Misha over, gesturing to a chair across from him. "You gonna sit, Angel, or just stand there?" The pet name jolted him back to reality and he winced visibly.

"Mish, should I not be calling you that anymore? That was not the reaction I was expecting..."  Concern marked his tanned face as his eyes followed Misha across to his seat.

"I'm sorry, it's fine. I'm not sure what that was.." The door popped open as a large man in a chef's coat and hat strode into the room.

"Jesse!" He jumped from his seat and took the Chef's hand while slapping him on the back. "Dude, this place is awesome! I'm happy for you, really. Well done!"

"Hey thanks!  It's so good to see you!  Listen, I'm going to let you have your privacy but I just wanted to come in and maybe take a drink order? Are you ready for that?" Misha opened his mouth to order, but Jensen jumped in.

"Well we'll need your best bottle of red for my cultured friend here, but what do you have on tap for me? I'm gonna a need a beer." Misha just stared as Jensen talked with Jesse and ordered for both of them. "One last thing, we need the three least ordered items on your menu, right Mish?" Jensen winked at him, proud of his joke but Misha was somewhere else.

"Misha? You in there, man?" The very slight southern drawl pulled him back from his memories.

"Yes! Sorry. I'm sorry. I'm game. Least three ordered items is a win." Jesse chuckled to himself and nodded his approval.

"Alright gentleman, I'll put the order in and we'll see what comes out! Your waiter will be back with your drinks and just so you know he's signed a nondisclosure. No one will know you're here. Enjoy some time to yourself."

The door closed and they were alone. Suddenly it felt very tense between them and Jensen didn't know why. Maybe it was time to apologize.

They both spoke at the same time.

"Jens"

"Mish"

Misha shook his head. "Go ahead, I'm sorry."

Jensen rubbed his hands over his face and took a deep breath. "Look, Misha, I need to apologize." His friend opened his mouth to protest but the words were tumbling out of Jensen's mouth too quickly.

"I've been terrible these last few months. Not really intentionally, I just felt like we've been off for a while and I wasn't quite sure where it all sort of went wrong. I'm guessing it was the boxer thing in Rome but maybe it was before that and I just didn't realize. I was so drunk and such a cocky asshole. I didn't realize how bad it was really until I was flipping through that godforsaken website last night and saw all the pictures of it. I couldn't bring myself to watch the video. You were so uncomfortable and I just kept pushing the envelope. When I put my arm around you, you arched away from me the first chance you got and I still didn't get it. I feel like, you were really pissed at me that night and we just never recovered. Am I way off base?" His large hands worked along his napkin without purpose as Misha's fingers pressed into his forearm.

"Man, how far into Tumblr did you crawl last night?" he joked but his attempt to change the subject failed.

"Come on Mish, let's get this all out in the open. I miss you." As soon as the words left his lips, he regretted them. He'd laid too many of his cards out and it showed in the surprise on Misha's face.

"I miss you too." The rasp in Misha's voice only made it's softness all the more indicative of his surprise. "Jensen look, all you've ever done is put on an act with me. We get on that stage and you sling an arm around my shoulder, wink, leer, joke and play to the fans. They love it and they want it to be real but I feel like that's all it is to you.  An act.  I will not put myself out there to have you go full "no homo"."

The door sprung open and a young waiter came in and very nervously set drinks on the table. He poured a sample of the wine and Misha did as he must and tasted it even thought he wanted to knock back the whole bottle in one go at this point. Jensen grabbed the beer and took a long draw from the glass. After pouring a full glass of the red wine for Misha, the poor kid almost tripped as he turned and left as quickly as he came. Jensen's eyes were locked on the door.

"I got a text from VIcki today." Misha scowled at both the realization that his wife was in on this madness and the change of subject. "She told me to be kind and when I saw it I realized just how unkind I had been. You're so open with your feelings Mish, that's not something I'm good at.  Having feelings for a dude isn't something I've ever experienced before and I don't know if you're really in to me or if you're just a flirt. I mean, christ, Adam was all over you in Berlin and you were avoiding me like the goddamn plague. It made me crazy."

"Jensen..."

"Just let me finish. It's not easy for me to admit to this stuff. Daneel knows and she's fully supportive of whatever we want to do but I don't want to just hook up. I can't just be some random to you." His face went into his open palms as his most private thoughts finally hit air. He wanted the room to swallow him whole.

"You think that's how I feel about you? You'd just be a 'random'?" Misha's finger traced down the side of Jensen's neck, he couldn't help but touch the raging pulse he saw there. "Seriously Jens, look at me. Please."

The man's voice grew hoarse as he turned his head to face his friend. "I don't know Mish. Everyone wants a piece of you and Vicki doesn't seem to mind if you catch tail when we all travel. At least that's the impression she gives Dee."

His gummy grin made Jensen smirk. "OH REALLY? That's what our wives talk about when we're out of town???" They both lost it and the laughter was hard and long and eased a lot of the pressure in the room. Misha was the first to breathe a sigh of relief. "Ok, let's get one thing straight. I don't have sex with randoms. I mean, she and I used to but that's not really my thing. What Vick does is her business and our relationship lends itself to that but what you're alluding to here...am I understanding you? You want to take this beyond friendship? If that's the case I need you to be specific because if you lay it all out in the open I will too, I promise you, but I'm not going first."

Jensen opened his mouth to speak but the door opened again and interrupted them. The two men chuckled at the timing. The waiter eyed them suspiciously before setting very familiar dishes down on the table.

"Are you kidding me..." Misha stared at the plates in front of them. Brains, Sweetbreads, and heart.

The cackling coming from across the table was too much. Misha laughed uproariously at the ridiculousness of the situation. "Please tell me Jesse knew. Surely you told him..."

"Hell yes, I told him. He had this stuff brought in specifically for us. I'm glad you approve." Jensen looked a little too long and a blush broke across the other man's face.

"What now?" He asked with a slight look of disgust as he eyed the sweetbreads.

"Well I'm sure as hell not actually eating this mess." Jensen's long legs pushed him up to stand as Misha scratched at his scruffy jaw.

"Good because neither am I! But the question is, what DO we eat?"

"Oh, that's easy. Burgers. Jesse's making us some.  You wanna head back, maybe? I feel like this conversation is getting kind of serious and as much as I love a good nondisclosure agreement it may be more than this kid can handle."

"I can't lie, I was thinking the same thing. Your room though, my room is a mess." Misha shrugged his admission out as if Jensen didn't already know.

"Sex toys everywhere, eh?"

"Obviously." Misha grinned at him wickedly and Jensen felt something break inside him.

"Before someone comes in here AGAIN, I'd like to make one final admission." He folded the napkin and dropped it onto his plate.

"Ok, shoot." Misha stared at him as he chewed his lip in expectation.

"I'm pretty sure I'm crazy about you, Mish. I'm not sure what to do about it. If you don't feel that strongly, I don't want this to get weird or whatever, but I can't keep it to myself. It's too hard and staying away from you is too painful." Jensen crossed his arms and waited while examining his feet.

Misha stood slowly and let his feet take him to Jensen. His hands roamed awkwardly around him not quite sure where to touch him before awkwardly crossing his own arms. "Christ, Jens, you can't tell me that after all these years you don't know that I'm mad about you. Have you seriously never known?"

Jenson's head shot up in shock and the space between them was charged and expectant. "I wasn't ready to see it but I am now if you'll show me."

Misha's lips were on his almost immediately, wordlessly begging for everything they'd both wanted for so long. It's too bad they were in this damn restaurant.

The door swung open as Jesse trotted in with doggie bags. "OH, guys, I'm sorry. Had I known this was a date, I would have been a bit more considerate!"

"Nah, Jesse, it's fine. I was just telling Mish it was about time to go. Those our burgers?" All this talking and he was still staring into Misha's cool blue pools.

"Yep, just let me pack them up and I'll bring them to the car out back." Jesse turned quickly and left them alone again.

Jensen smiled against the warmth of his Angel's neck and whispered, "You wanna get out of here?"

Misha answered with the most delicious groan he'd ever heard. This couldn't have gone better.


	3. The First Taste

The drive back to the hotel had dragged by.  After the kiss they'd shared at the restaurant Jensen hadn't been able to think of anything but getting his hands on Misha but allowing the kiss to happen in semi-public surroundings had been risky enough.  He felt like he could trust Jesse, so he hadn't been too concerned after the man had walked in on them, but this driver was another story.  Even touching Misha would probably lead to all kinds of mess at the convention tomorrow.

When they pulled up at the loading dock of the hotel, Misha knocked on the privacy window and exchanged pleasantries with the driver before stepping out of the car.  Jensen followed behind him, trying not to stare at his rounded backside.  Once they were safely inside the door Jensen cleared his throat to get the other's attention.

"How are we going to do this so we don't draw attention?  I have a feeling this place is going to be filling up with fans soon."

Misha turned and shoved his hands into his pockets while he thought.  The thick muscles in his upper arms rippled with the movement and Jensen had to drag his eyes away when he finally spoke.

"Why don't I go up first since I'm slightly less likely to be stopped.  You wait here about 15 minutes, and then follow.  I'll just go to my room and when you get to yours you can call me and I'll throw something on that covers me up a bit and head to your room.?"

Jensen had to laugh. "It's always going to be like this, isn't it?  Hooking up in hotels, dressed in hoodies and sunglasses to hide ourselves."

Misha's forehead crinkled with concern. "Is that going to be a problem?  I figured you didn't want to be "out"."

"OH! No, Mish, don't misunderstand me.  I'm not complaining.  The whole incognito thing is...kinda hot, actually."

"Oh really?" His eyebrow cocked in that way that always made Jensen crazy and this time was no different.

"Don't you dare.  Don't you look at me like that!  I will jump your ass right here." He shocked himself with the force of his reaction and slid a hand down to cover the tightness that had begun behind his zipper.

"Oh REALLY??" Misha grew bolder as he strolled close to him.  Jensen fumbled for a hotel room key in his pocket, backing away from him.  With a quick glance around, Misha rushed him up against the wall, slid his hands down into Jenson's back pockets, and took the man's lower lip between his teeth with a quick pull.  

The growl that emanated from deep inside Jensen was heavy and it was clear there was going to be a battle for control.  Grabbing into his dark hair, he pulled their lips apart and shoved his snarky ass back across the hall chest first into to the other wall. Dragging his teeth against his attacker's neck, he finally found words.

"You don't play fair, Angel, so as much as I want to do this here I'm going to try to find some tiny piece of self control and insist you get your ass upstairs."  With a swat to his plump backside, he sent Misha up the hallway laughing the whole way.  Rubbing his face in frustration, he checked the time and tried to think of anything but Misha's full lips.

"Grandma, vomit, car accidents, FUCK." He needed to lose this boner before he headed into the lobby and he was completely fucked if someone came down this hallway.  Unbuttoning his shirt, he was suddenly really grateful he had opted to wear a t shirt under it.  He folded it over his arm and covered himself as he checked his watch.  Ten more minutes.

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Misha jogged up the hallway to his room and managed to evade all but a couple fans.  When he finally got his door open he tried to catch his breath but realized quickly that his racing heartbeat wasn't from running.  He didn't know what came over him downstairs but nerves were definitely not a thing any longer.  He checked his watch.  7 more minutes before Jens would be headed back up to his room.  

Digging around in his suitcase, he managed to come up with a  black hoodie but when he put it on he felt like he looked ridiculous, sort of like an old man trying to look young and failing.  He pulled it off and settled for a jacket and a beanie that he'd knitted for himself last winter.  If he just moves quickly, he shouldn't be noticed.  I mean, his room was just down the hall.  How hard could this be?

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Jensen finally managed to get his manhood under control and just in time because he could finally leave this damn hallway.  One of the housekeepers had come down the hall a couple minutes ago so he busied himself with his phone and said hello when she smiled and tried to make small talk.  Thankfully, she'd been the only one.  Keeping his focus down on his phone, he quickly made his way to the elevator, avoiding the lobby to reduce the chance of interruption.  When he finally got to his floor, he glanced down the hall at Misha's door with a smile.  Knowing he was in there waiting for Jensen to call was making his heart pound so he decided to change things up a bit.

Marching confidently down the hall, he tapped on Misha's door and shouldered into the door jamb, crossing the toe of his shoe over the other, while he toyed with his sunglasses.

Misha peered through the peep hole but couldn't see anyone.  "Hello?" came the small voice through the door.  Jensen grinned to himself and responded.

"It's housekeeping Mish, open the damn door."

The door flew open and Misha pulled Jensen inside by his shirt front while checking the hall for anyone who may be watching.  Jensen cackled as he watched Misha slam the door in a huff.

"YOU'RE GOING TO GET US CAUGHT!" The smaller man laughed at the ridiculousness of their situation.

"Nah, I'm no amateur.  I paid attention, stop worrying and come here."  Jensen lowered himself onto the couch and patted the seat next to him before groaning loudly and dropping a fist onto the cushion.  "THE BURGERS! Dammit I was so distracted by your ASS I forgot the burgers in the car!"

The smug look on his Angel's face as he plopped down onto the couch didn't help things.

"My ass?  You were looking at my ass?  I'm not a piece of meat, you know."  That grin was infectious.  He desperately wanted to kiss it off of his scruffy face.

"Uh, hello, you're an actor.  You're definitely a piece of meat." His smile grew as he joked.

"Fair point.  What are we going to do?  Room Service?"  He wasn't even sure he was hungry at this point. There was only one thing on his mind and food wasn't it.

"Eventually." Jensen turned sideways on the couch to face his friend.  Draping his arm across the back, he let his fingers comb through the thickness of his dark hair.  Blue eyes closed at the tender touch of his fingers.  Misha reached to place his hand on the lean thigh next to him as he hummed his approval.

Anxiety rose in Jensen's chest as he realized how far this could go.  He'd never been with a man and wasn't sure what to expect or what may be expected of him.  Suddenly, he didn't feel nearly as confident.

"Mish, I've never done this before.  I don't know what...I mean...how."  He groaned as he fumbled his words but warm blue eyes locked on his in response.

"We don't have to go full into this tonight.  Let's just go with what feels good, and I'll show you anything you want to see. Deal?" The tanned skin around his eyes crinkled as he smiled at his soon to be lover with a nod.

Misha stood and held a hand out to take Jensen's.  

"Let's head to the bedroom.  No pressure, but we can stretch out a bit."  More nodding as Jensen stroked his beard nervously.  He followed behind into the darkness of the room.  His hand was dropped as Mish made his way to the bedside table to turn on a low lamp.  

For a moment they stared at each other in the glow of the lamplight. Both men moved at the same time, folding together next to the bed.  Jensen's large hands held his lover's scruffy cheeks as he brushed his lips tenderly across the full ones before him.  Misha's hands roamed up and down his lover's back as he whispered, "Do you know how long I've waited for this?" 

 Jensen answered by teasing his lips apart with the tip of his tongue.  That little bit was all Misha needed.  They fell into each other, hungry and wanting, tongues dancing as hands played in hair and down necks.  Jensen's large rough hands slid under Misha's t-shirt and stroked against his back as his lips trailed down the Angel's neck.  Misha groaned and backing away ordered the large man onto the bed.

"Lay back.  I want you to watch me."  Pulling off his shirt, Jensen dropped back onto the bed, propping up on his elbows to watch as Misha began to ease the hem of his shirt up, slowly revealing the abs that the other man had admired in secret for years.

"Jesus Mish..."

He just smiled as he teased, blue eyes locked on green, eventually pulling the shirt over his head, rifling his hair into a mess which only made him more attractive. 

Bare feet padded across the room to the bed as he popped his belt buckle and pulled his belt loose.  Climbing atop those long bowed legs, he humped at the hardening behind Jensen's straining zipper.

"I want to show you how good I can make you feel.  Do you trust me?"  As much as he loved being in control, he shivered at Mish's gravely tone.  Something new and intense had come over his normally passive friend and he really didn't want it to stop.

"Yes..completely." 

"Good.  Clasp your hands above your head."  Fuck.  The eyebrow.  He was doing the eyebrow.

Misha leaned down, hips rolling to allow their denim covered bulges to get just a little bit of friction, and wrapped his belt around his large hands.

"Leave them there.  Understand?"

Jensen nodded.  Misha knew he'd shifted into control but he wasn't going to push for anything other than this light restraint.  All he wanted was to show this man he'd craved for so long how much he wanted him.

"Good.  Now, I'm going to worship you....your body...your smell...your taste...everything about you.  That's not a problem, is it?" Misha grinned as his lover groaned and thrust up into him involuntarily.  He had his full attention.  

Beginning with his ear, he ran the tip of his hot, wet, tongue along the lobe, nibbling every so often, as he whispered the things he wanted to do to him as the smooth, freckled chest beneath him trembled.  Soft fingers ran down his hot skin, as small nips and kisses drop down the thumping pulse in Jensen's neck and then over his chest, stopping only to lathe over his nipple.  A whimper escaped his lips as his green eyes practically glowed with need.

"Fuck. I'm going to end up breaking the zipper on these pants if you don't let me out of them soon."  Looking up at him, he sucked hard and released the other mans nipple with a pop.  Rocking his hips back and forth as he sat up, he smirked as he teased.

"God, Misha...you're killing me."

"Ok, baby, I've got you.  Patience."  His thick thighs protested against his jeans as he slid back and onto the floor.  Opening Jensen's fly, Misha couldn't help but chuckle to himself.

"Really?  These are the boxers you wear??"  Jensen's loud laugh rang out as his Angel drug the denim off of his backside and onto the floor.  

"Is there a more appropriate pair to wear tonight?!"  The grizzly bear mocked Misha even as a raging erection pressed the waistband away from the smooth tummy.

"Oh no, these have to go."  The offending underwear were quickly stripped from his body and suddenly they were both right back in the moment.

Misha climbed onto the bed between the younger man's knees and let his open mouth hover over this thick cock, hot breath enveloping it as the muscles tensed before him.  The tiny moans coming from the beautiful man on the bed made his own rod throb and push hard against it's restraints.  Dropping his head low, he drug his tongue ever so softly up the underside of his cock, into the cleft at the tip to collect the tiny drop of precum that was just beginning to drip.  Jensen's hips bucked up as he growled his need.  Full lips closed over the tip, warm and wet,  tongue stroking back and forth across the throb of his pulse as his ministrations continued.  

His green eyes rolled back as lids fluttered shut against the intense pleasure he was feeling.  He'd never experienced anything like it and he'd had some amazing blow jobs.  That low heat was starting in his groin, he knew he was getting close.  

"Mish, I'm gonna...oh god...I.." he groaned as instead of pulling away, the other man dropped his jaw open, gripped his lover's hips and allowed the tip of his cock to push into the back of his throat.  The sensation was more than Jensen could take, his body succumbed to it's need.  Misha swallowed against the throbbing cock as it jerked it's last.

Kissing along the inside of his warm thigh, and up over his chest, Mish curled into the crook of Jensen's arm before reaching up to unbind his hands.  As soon as they were free, the large man rolled toward his Angel and kissed him tenderly while wrapping him into his arms.  Between kisses he realized he was the only one completely naked.

"Don't you think it's just a little unfair that I'm the only one buck ass naked?" Jensen's voice sounded rough and low in Misha's ear which only served to make the wet spot forming on his briefs bigger.

"Is that a problem for you?" he teased, blue eyes flashing.

"Oh it's definitely a problem."  Rough fingers played at the edge of the smaller man's muscled hip bones, stoking that desire that had been building for hours.  Teeth dragging across the scruff of his cheek, a growl escaped Jensen's lips as he opened the dark jeans to reveal orange briefs. "Lucky briefs, eh?"  The grin lit up his entire face and Misha smirked his response.

"I mean...does one ever NOT want to be lucky?"  He was trying to be cute but was obviously struggling to maintain control when Jensen's fingers teased along his waist and oh so close to his hardness.

"No, never, but you didn't need them today." Misha whispered an expletive, his hips rolling up against Jensen's broad palm, begging for a touch.

A single finger slid under the waistband of his orange briefs and stroked across his body. 

"Do you want me to touch you, Angel?  Your body says yes but you haven't asked me to.  Tell me what you want and it's yours."  Misha squirmed under his fingers and he loved it.  The muscles in his chest and abdomen twitched with desire and it only served to make Jensen hungry. 

"Touch me, Jens.  I need to feel your fingers on my cock.." The words came out in gasps as his hips bucked.  As much as he enjoyed teasing him, Jenson wanted to touch him as much as he wanted to be touched.  Standing, he curled his fingers around the collective waistbands of everything left between them and jerked them off roughly.  Running a tentative tongue across his lower lip, he settled back onto the bed, stretching alongside the newly bare lean muscled body fantasizing about just a few hours earlier.  Nuzzling in to kiss and nip at Misha's neck, he let his fingers drag anew down across the soft hairs leading to the firm rod awaiting him.

Jensen loved the way it twitched when he got close. A small droplet pooled just beyond his finger tips so he wiped it onto his middle finger and held it to the Mish's full lips.  His tongue darted out and trailed the length of the finger, making his lovers green eyes flame.  Spreading the still oozing slick precum onto the shaft, his long fingers wrapped around Misha's cock as he began to stroke.  A soft moan escaped his lips as the sensation brought him to the edge.  Getting to his hands and knees to have better control, Jensen tongued softly at the tip, relishing the greedy moans he was causing.  Moving his fingers to the base of his thickness, eager lips stroked down over it's velvety skin.  Allowing his saliva to coat it, he allowed needy thrusts to drive the pace.  He moaned against the throb in his mouth when Misha's strong fingers wrapped around the inside of his thigh and pulled his hips over to close around his head.  Before he knew it, his thickening length was right back between those full lips and Jensen couldn't help but buck in appreciation.  

The scene was one from the many fantasies they'd had.  Both of them feeding off of the other's pleasure until they were spent.  When both had reached their climax, without speaking they instinctively moved together, Misha's dark mussed hair intermingled with Jensen's light beard as he rested on his chest.

"That was....intense."  Misha stroked along the other's soft belly as he spoke. "Can you stay?  I mean, I know it's problematic but I don't want you to go."

"Yeah, I don't want to go either.  I have to get up at 5am anyway so I'll just sneak out around that time.  Is that ok? I don't want you to think this is just about the sex for me."  Jensen pulled at his Angel's stubbled chin as he spoke so he could see his eyes.  He knew how sensitive Misha was and wanted so much to tell him how he felt but didn't know how to make the words come.

"I know it's not.  Truthfully, I haven't had an experience quite that...emotional...with a man and we didn't even...yeah."  Closing the distance between them with a final tender kiss, they settled in for the night.  Wrapped tightly around eachother, neither eager to let go of what had taken so long to find.

 

 


End file.
